anakihn:

im crying ok so four years ago i was a high school freshman and my health teacher made us write letters to our future selves and she said she was going to mail them to us by the time we graduate. i completely forgot we even did that but I just got mine today & i opened it and aLL I PUT INTO THE ENVELOPE 4 YEARS AGO WAS $4.01, A BAND-AID, AND A PACK OF ORBIT GUM WITH TROLOLOLOLOL WRITTEN ALL OVER IT I FUCKING HATE FRESHMAN ME

anakihn:

im crying ok so four years ago i was a high school freshman and my health teacher made us write letters to our future selves and she said she was going to mail them to us by the time we graduate. i completely forgot we even did that but I just got mine today & i opened it and aLL I PUT INTO THE ENVELOPE 4 YEARS AGO WAS $4.01, A BAND-AID, AND A PACK OF ORBIT GUM WITH TROLOLOLOLOL WRITTEN ALL OVER IT I FUCKING HATE FRESHMAN ME

(via cringing)

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

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(via jessepumpkinofficial)

jinnora:

why

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did

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they

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cancel

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this

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fucking

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show??

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it was literally gold

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(via nerdy-bboy)

swagbat:

i want to meet him

swagbat:

i want to meet him

(via brititsh)

jackerlope:

"how will i explain gay couples to my children”

if you can explain to your children that an immortal man in a red suit who lives in the north pole travels around the entire world on one night every year on a sleigh carried by magical flying deer i think itll be easy enough to tell them two people are in love

(Source: yeiku, via thorin-brokenshield)

Tags: gay stuff

manysidesofmyself:

excusemybrain:

Best response to the “are you on your period?” question goes to Leonardo DiCaprio

and still no Oscar

(Source: mgustave, via tinychatting)

aresnakesreal:

this should not be as funny as it is

(via officertoast)

dlubes:

dont-forget-the-salt:

dlubes:

iamcaswinchester:

dlubes:

caskles:

dlubes:

who knew a card in cards against humanity could remind me of high school

Did you mean supernatural

no i meant high school honestly why do you guys do this

I think you mean supernatural

i literally do not

I’m pretty sure you do mean supernatural

IM SORRY YOUR FANDOM SUCKS AND MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM AND IM SORRY THE WRITERS OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOW ARE TOO HOMOPHOBIC TO POSSIBLY MAKE ANY OF THEIR MAIN CHARACTERS LGBT+ AND IM SORRY THEY QUEERBAIT INTO OBLIVION LIKE IM VERY SORRY

dlubes:

dont-forget-the-salt:

dlubes:

iamcaswinchester:

dlubes:

caskles:

dlubes:

who knew a card in cards against humanity could remind me of high school

Did you mean supernatural

no i meant high school honestly why do you guys do this

I think you mean supernatural

i literally do not

I’m pretty sure you do mean supernatural

IM SORRY YOUR FANDOM SUCKS AND MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM AND IM SORRY THE WRITERS OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOW ARE TOO HOMOPHOBIC TO POSSIBLY MAKE ANY OF THEIR MAIN CHARACTERS LGBT+ AND IM SORRY THEY QUEERBAIT INTO OBLIVION LIKE IM VERY SORRY

(via spork)